| attention rant |
[Jan. 30th, 2008|01:00 pm] |
Why do we all seek attention so much? I was talking to my aggie-Dylan friend the other day about how his girlfriend (who lives in New Mexico) went over to this guy (who likes her)'s house and broke a bunch of promises she had amde to him and when he was telling me about it, he started talking about attention and how she loves it and she's not getting it from him (because he's 1000 miles away). I realized that's what I'm doing with Paul (I'm now ignoring him unless I have something mean-ish I can say to him, which isn't very nice at all, I know, but I can't help myself). I think I just want him to miss me, but he won't because he doesn't have a long enough attentionspan to think about anything other than him and his new group (I think they're replacing HTHDIGN?) I know I'm being really selfish, but all I want is for him to come back and tell me he was wrong and that he misses me and he wants me to start talking to him again... and I know I could just start talking to him like it was nothing after he said that, hell, I could do that now, but I want the satisfaction that he admitted that he wants me in his life even if it is just as a friend. I mean, like, everyone likes having attention, you mostly see it from girls, but I know guys like it just as much they're just not as crazy about it. We need attention from the people we love and hate. And I don't know why! That's just been bothering me lately, I'm sure none of this makes sense (I think I say that on all of these entries...)
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 23rd, 2008|06:51 pm] |
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Is it bad that I keep hoping he'll "come to his senses" and ask me out again even though I would say no despite the fact that I love him and I think he's perfect with the exception of his need to get into everyone's conversation? Don't answer that. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 22nd, 2008|09:56 am] |
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It's kind of weird, because a lot of time when someone gets broken up with, they go shopping and watch girly movies with their friends and they're better, but then when I get broken up with or do the breaking up or when there is, in any way, an end to the relationship, I just need to talk to them. I've realized that every guy I've gone out with, I've always talked to them for my closure type thing. Except Hunter... but I never really felt closure with him... partially because he's a whore. Anyway, I just think it's so weird how girls are so upset with the people who break up with them forever, and my mom pointed out that I've stayed friends with all of my boyfriends, but that's because I always just talk to them and I don't like it to be some big mystery why it's over. At first it was with Paul, but then he helped me realize something about him... and I don't even know how to describe it, but my mom was asking me why he did it and I really couldn't explain it even though I knew perfectly well what he meant. None of this makes sense, but I don't care... it does to me. |
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| for james |
[Jan. 14th, 2008|01:41 pm] |
James informed me that I wasn't writing in here enough, so here I go!
It was weird driving to College Station and around A&M. I havn't driven again since I got here, but it was still like... just different I guess. I'm used to being the passenger around here, and I still don't know my way around here very well. I also liked nobody being on campus before today. It seemed like everyone got back last night. My profs seem pretty cool so far. I think in Engineering, we're actually going to learn graphics!! It's exciting because we didn't at all last semester. Belmonte should be interesting... And my chem prof seems really good. Today was mostly just like an intro to chem.. a very very basic one. It was nice. I hope it's not too bad. I've seen Juno 3 times in theaters so far. And Paul's roommate has mysteriously disappeared, like, all of his stuff is gone and he hasn't come back yet... it's weird.
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| i don't even know when the last time i wrote in here was... |
[Nov. 14th, 2007|11:07 pm] |
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I think it's really cool that about two months ago I was laying in bed on a Thursday night crying about not having made any friends at A&M and then the next day I made friends with 4 amazing people. We have our drama and we have our dislikes about each other but we've come so close in such a short amount of time. I have a boyfriend who I don't plan on breaking up with anytime soon (which is a first for me!) I've finally allowed myself to love someone. That's new for me too, I never let anyone in. Ever. I really love it here.
Classes were pretty boring; they're just like trying to cram as much as possible into my head even though it doesn't seem like I've learned anything at all. It's weird how that happens. Today we actually had engineering stuff to do in engineering! Our TA gave us a lego kit, showed us a program and gave us a couple rules and just said go! We could do anything we wanted!! It was so much fun! That was the reason I joined it! And we had demostration type stuff in Physics. Then in Physics lab, our TA explained everything to us that we would ever need to know about this physics test and it makes me happy. I think it's because people in my cluster are slowly drifting out. The people who don't care or are leaving Engineering this semester don't go to classes anymore, and the people who are left are the people who actually want to be there.
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 6th, 2007|12:36 pm] |
I haven't written in here in a while. I made friends! I've known them two weeks now.. and I love them. I have hung out with them every day. Apparently we're going to be living together next year... we'll see how that goes. Classes have been ridiculous but good. I'm not really sure what else to say....
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 11th, 2007|05:48 pm] |
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| |  relaxed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Taylor Swift | ] |
Today in Anthropology, we talked about different types of primates, and my professor told us about all of these different types of monkeys, and it made me realize how much I want one. I've decided that I'm definitely going to get a female bonobos, and she's going to be my best friend. Apparently they're a lot like humans, even their sex life, and the females hunt which is totally awesome. I also really want a Gibbon because they're small, but not too small so I'll step on them. I also really want a gorilla. Because they're just freaking awesome. And I kind of want a New World Monkey because they have cute tails and they swing.
 my gibbon  my bonobos!!
On a completely different note, I'm done iwth interviews!!! Unless by some odd miracle I get an itnerview for AIDES, and if I do, I might not go because I don't have a business formal outfit and I can't get one by Thursday morning. And.. .ACL's this weekend!! I'm so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-) |
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| Life As An Aggie... So Far |
[Sep. 6th, 2007|12:43 am] |
Alright, back to my LiveJournalage... well... since my last update I have gone to my first Aggie football game! whoop (even though I'm not supposed to do that yet... but I seriously doubt anyone at A&M is going to read this.. so I should be good.) It was really fun, actually! I am going to have some awesome standing muscles when I graduate from here, because that's really all we do. I actually like all of my classes. Except calculus is a little crazy... because I don't think the professor speaks normal people English... just math English... which I usually don't have a problem with... but maybe it's just that I don't pay attention because I already know what he's doing... I don't know. And I've conquered MatLab!!! I felt quite victorious in that. And when I say I conquered it, I mean I did one problem correctly (I believe). But it was a hard problem. Really. Because it's so confusing. I know it'll be useful once I actually know how to use it... but out instructor doesn't talk to us. He just puts stuff up and has us copy it or watch the video... or something. My Physics teacher knows me as one of the "non calculus people". There's about 5 of us in our class of 80ish. But I love him. And the class even though I have to work really hard because we're doing calculus that I learned like... last week. I'm working relaly hard. And I think he knows that. Anthropology is really interesting. I'm so glad I took it. I love my professor. She (my ONLY female professor... besides my Physics TA) has so much experience and it's a really fun class. And I also have the most aweomse Engineering group EVER! I've just been really busy filling out my FLO Applications. And I've been going to meetings. I'm going to be in AIAA, and I really really really want to be in Flying Aggies... because it's awesome... and I'll have partial ownership over 5 planes... and cheaper flying lessons!!! We'll see how that works out because I have no way to get to the airport. There really should be a bus that goes there. But no.
My sister got Perks of Being a Wallflower. I need it. *hint that would be a good thanksgiving present.... haha... because you should totally get presents on Thanksgiving. I also need an A&M hoodie. Because it's -23840271degrees in my room. Exactly. You might wonder how I'm still alive... because I'm already hot enough :-) Just kidding.... But seriously. Our room is freezing. Stupid air conditioning in Mosher.
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| even when i dream of you, the sweetest dream will never do |
[Aug. 28th, 2007|05:47 pm] |
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| |  nerdy | ] |
So last night there was supposed to be the lunar eclipse. Well, Emma had left a little earlier because she was stressed about this and that, and right before I was about to go to bed I received a call from her letting me know about the lunar eclipse and how they were all in Meagans room. I decided to go because it seemed really cool, and I had never seen one before, and my first class this morning wasn't until 12:45. I left my dorm room at like 1, and it was just so cool because if I was still at home, well, first of all, my parents wouldn't be ok with me leaving the house at 1, but also it was like a "school night" and I was staying up late. It was the first time I really felt that sense of freedom. It was nice. So we went outside around 2 (after watching Nick at Nite...) and just layed in the quad waiting for the lunar eclipse. That was pretty cool too, because there aren't a whole lot of campus's where 5 girls can just lay out somewhere at 2am without the fear of being raped or anything. Well, some people had 8am classes, so they all ended up leaving except Emma and I. We just stayed there until around 3:30 (we never saw anything happen with the moon), and around that time, some drunk girl is walking up.. like.. we were kind of far from her and we could smell the alcohol on her. A cop is driving around campus and he calls over for her (about 4 ft away from where Emma and I are sitting) and she tells him that she's 19 and he finds out that she is intoxicated, but since she carried on a conversation with the cops about how her sister (who apparently is a lot smarter than her) wants to go into forensics and her roommate was coming, they didn't do anything to her. She might've gotten a ticket. That was it. It was pretty interesting. After that, Emma and I decided we would go to bed. Apparently we should've stayed out for another hour or so and we would've seen the lunar eclipse... but we didn't. Yeah, that was my first.. I gues.. interesting night in college.
On a completely unrelated note, classes started yesterday. I love my Engineering class (so far) and my math, but I hate my physics professor (though I am in love with the book he wrote). I like anthropology, and Allie's in that class with me! I twisted my ankle leaving anthropology today (it was a 10 minute class.) My math lab TA doesn't speak english... should be interesting... neither does Emma's.
I'm gaining my freshman 15 at the Tomato Bar. (And with poptarts). And so far, I have not met any guys who I would even consider going out with.
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